Remake Arena 001: Iron Man

Some remakes are awesome to the max. Some are not. The Remake Arena is where I shall judge the quick and the totally limp-dicked.

Let us peruse one that has recently come to my attention:

First, the setup: Black Sabbath - Iron Man (1971)


Then the punchline: The Cardigans - Iron Man (1996)


FAIL: I am typically in favor of loungey remakes. I enjoy a lot of Richard Cheese. But this remake loses me instantly - the intro vocal is actually where I think it comes apart. Are you Iron Man? I am unconvinced. I think you are Nina Persson going through the sad, empty motions of covering Black Sabbath. This is the kind of thing where you have to be self-aware and say unto yourself, "Yea, Verily, Now I shall loungily cover Iron Man, and I Understand that I court Certain and Everlasting Scorn if I Should Not Execute It With Fiat." I am sensing a distinct lack of fiat.

Do you disagree with me? Tell me more! I change my mind about stuff like this pretty frequently. You can help.